How much of me am I willing to reveal? How much do you want me to?

With "is" stressed, this one IS defintely scary, more like, creepy.

For almost a decade now, I’ve been aware that I may truly have a "gift" of prophecy. I’ve learned to ignore the coincidences as I know I’ve wisely chosen to believe that we make or create our own destiny.

Then again, it truly IS hard to ignore horoscopes and astrological forecasts and interpretations especially if these conform to what and who you are and what happens to you.

A year ago, I got stuck in a terrible emotional turmoil and out of desperation, I sought the advice of an online astrologer named Sara Freder of sara-freder.com. As expected, and of course, to my dismay, her pieces of advice cost a lot. She gives free advice and forecast but only up to a certain extent so I chose not to pursue it anymore. To my amazement, even up to now, I still receive e-mails from her, e-mails that can’t possibly be considered as spam mail as it is highly personalized.

Now if naivety is what this blog appears to be like, the coincidences I was talking about earlier are somewhat what her e-mails contain. Let me quote her latest letter to me:

Dear Maria,

Yes, Maria, Monday, June 18, 2007 will be a very important
date for you. At midnight exactly, a
"magical" event will take place in your life…

The universe’s "cosmic"
forces shall bring you three months of unprecedented good fortune.

For instance, in the coming weeks, Luck will enable very high
potential earnings at betting games. Difficult relationship
situations will find resolution! The projects you hold dear will at last become
a reality, and many more beyond…

And all of this will start happening in
the coming days…

In fact, it would be more accurate to say that the first
manifestations of this period of intense luck have just started. However, the
doors of communication with the forces of luck will be flung wide open at
midnight on Monday, June 18, 2007. I know that this may seem hard to believe, but
there is no doubt that Monday, June 18, 2007 is the date of the beginning of the
coming together of all the things you hold dear.

I now need to tell you why you will know this period of
unprecedented luck:

I am struck by one thing. You are among the people I consider
sensitive to "invisible forces". Your unconscious is as if on the same
"wavelength" as the energies around you!

It is my opinion that you, Maria, are a
medium, and
quite a powerful one, but that you are unaware of this. We will discuss this
later as you will see how this relates to the "magical date".

I was
also struck by another detail:

I am not quite sure how to put this, but I sense that you have
an inner suffering. Your sensitive nature did not cope well with the pain that
some people made you suffer.

You are a person with a pure heart and I know how difficult it
must be for you to bear the incomprehension of others and their mocking attitude
at your goodness.

Why am I saying all of this? Only because the time for change
has arrived. You can turn the cards on your life: Monday, June 18, 2007 is the end of
your worries and the realization of all of your hopes! How can I be so sure of
this?

Earlier, I mentioned your intuition and sensitive nature as well
as your latent gifts as a medium. These qualities predispose you to
communication with beneficial forces and the forces of good fortune on the
Monday, June 18, 2007. This night will be very special. I will explain this to you in
detail so that you can have the certitude that a radiant future is opening its
arms to you.

Monday, June 18, 2007 is a sacred date for you. This day will
correspond to the day when the visible and material world is in harmony with the
spiritual world. This will be the night when the spirits of Nature come into
contact with those with a pure heart and who have prepared for their arrival.
During this spiritual contact, spirits will flood the lives of these people with
"magical" energy, thus enabling luck and good fortune if the people’s
conduct is unselfishly motivated.

To determine who these people are, I consult the oracle’s
tarot cards. This enables me to discern the future and predict the paths which
lead to the success of the invisible forces with "magical " help of
this special night.

I am sure of being right in saying that you have a pure heart. I
know that your characteristic modesty, Maria prevents you from saying
so, but I know that it is true. It is true just as is the feeling you have deep
down to be able to "feel" "predict" the situations and
people around you.

Yes, for you, Maria, Monday, June 18, 2007 will change your
life forever. You will enter into a cycle of luck which will last three months.
During these three months, you will be able to shape destiny and turn events
around to suit your most ardent wishes. To do this, you need to prepare to
receive the spiritual forces. This will be very easy for you Maria:

In several days, you will receive my personal communication.
This will contain all the instructions you need to prepare for the magical date
of Monday, June 18, 2007. You must be wondering of course what these special
instructions that I will send you with your permission, are…

Notice that the last sentence is where the payment option comes in. But it really is of no matter to me as this e-mail struck me as true. It can be seen here that Sara mentioned that I’m a medium yet unaware of my powers. She also mentioned that there are some people who recently succeeded in hurting me despite my good intentions. And she further mentioned that I have an inner suffering.

To those who know me and what I’m going through, how scary/creepy IS this?!

… too much emotional attachment. I’m emotional already. Negatives repel each other.
… people who act like stubborn kids and don’t acknowledge legitimate authority imposed on them.
… laziness.
… lying and liars.
… the situation I’m in now. Who wouldn’t? But it’s responsibility of which I have no choice but to take and acknowledge as something that could make me strong.

crazy! My trip, that is. I was off for a two-week business trip and was able to really maximize my stay with a real ghost encounter as bonus! It (the "vacation") had been a long time coming, thought I really deserved the treat and surely it was well worth all the insanity encountered! Had a hard time leaving but I’ve never been so much thankful for the opportunity!

**I have angst over apathy. Can’t help but puke. Ugh.

**Curiosity killed the cat (*shoots self*). Ugly, huh!

**Freezing here in Baguio right now. And raining too.

**Can I say that I don’t wanna save asses anymore?

**Am I being taken seriously by these people?! Goddamn it.

**Please, please, guys, make me proud. I am not going to say "don’t let me down". Rather, I’m going to say "don’t let yourselves down". **Creepy video. Eeek.

**NOTE WHEN SHOPPING: Cash reserves shouldn’t be depleted!

**I miss dad. I wonder if I’m going to miss Baguio when I’m gone. I haven’t gone back to the Mansion House yet or even visited Diplomat Hotel (hehe).

**So this person seemed to be making excuses. It’s not like it’s a matter of life and death, anyway.

**Why is etel’s phowa server down?!!

**I wonder how I’ll ever be able to upload the moviemaker presentation for the language trainers.

**Why can’t I open my other emails?! Is it because Zola Cafe’s admin are starting to feel that I’m taking advantage of the free wifi? It’s FREE anyway! Haha.

An Australian… or American… on vacation here in Baguio who was struggling with a carinderia owner’s translation of a "hot" (spicy…hehe) Filipino dish just told me I have a great American accent and asked if I’m from California. And to think that several months ago, my former Korean boss kept on repeating that I have a strong Tagalog accent.

AND SO MS. REKLAMADORA STRIKES AGAIN:

____________

Precious: kabwisit dito sa victory liner dito
Precious: pinapainit ulo ko
Precious: susunod mamayang gabi dad ko at gf niya sa akin
Precious: dito
Precious: ang plan ko is to pay for their fare here at pasabihan na lang na papasukin sila sa cubao terminal
Precious: biruin mo ba naman mare daming dahilan
Precious: kesyo baka raw malate si dad
Precious: ng dating kasi every 30 mins alis ng bus
Precious: kesyo di raw nila matawagan ang cubao about it kasi naka-sun sila at walang signal
Precious:
Precious: leche irereport ko yang mga yan pagdating ko ng manila e
Mimi: ay naku pasway yang mga yan eh
Mimi: kala naman nila lolokohin sila ng tao
Precious: inooffer ko na nga phone ko para tawagan ang cubao
Precious: daming dahilan
Precious: babayaran ko na nga yung fare e
Precious: sabi ko nga why can’t just leave a message thru any phone text and have my dad and his gf bring an i.d.

__________

nyarr…earthquake intensity 4 yesterday morning here. it doesn’t help either that the whole hotel here in baguio is shaking due to the daily construction beside it.

__________

Baguio theme song until tomorrow morning (sa pagdating ni tita rose at dad): "My loneliness is killing me. And I must confess I still believe…" (with matching dance number ala-Britney Spears)

__________

Baguio theme song until tomorrow morning (sa pagdating ni tita rose constructive answer as to which hotel room I can reserve for good friend and language trainer colleague Nen.

__________

waaahh…shower’s heater isn’t working! daym!

__________

Paker na Netopia dito. Malamig na nga dito sa Baguio, naka-aircon pa sila. May sipon na ako. Waaaaahhhh.

__________

with eTel’s resourcing team at Mile Hi Diner, Camp John Hay

vanity inside my room (couldn’t helpt it!)

Baguio LPET babies being made to answer the "Casablanca Cloze Test" by their merciless trainer. nyahaha.

Citylight Hotel open space (outside the function room)  -  where we would run "just in case" *knocks on wood*

my LPET Baguio edition babies practicing for their "jazz chant" performance

seryosohan ito sa practice. may choreography talaga. hehe.

The last "heavenly" sight I saw before going up =p (Sorry baby. Haha.)

Citylight Hotel  -  where I’m currently staying and as well the venue for eTelecare’s language training which I’m conducting.

My new LPET babies (Baguio edition) on their first day of torment..err.. training. Hehe.

Dark photo of the eTelecare booth taken at the Baguio Convention Center job fair with the tarpauline showing (hottie big boss) Benedict Hernandez (oops..informal register..harhar) =p

Burnham Park… Mom… =(

For the simple fact that aside from my fear of heights, I have, as well, fear of water (those where you CAN drown as, well, I just really don’t know how to swim or relax enough to trust that my body can take buoyancy), I didn’t ride one of those boats. Yeah. So sue me.

Though this one turned out to be really bad due to the darn sunlight (yes, it shines in Baguio too, haha), I just had to take a pic of myself.

From the SM Baguio view/breeze deck  -  photos can’t really do justice to the breathtaking view. Sigh!

Is that fog or smog?! A view of Burnham Park from SM Baguio top view/breeze deck.

After sunset =)

SM Baguio  -  who says it’s a scar on the face of Baguio? For me who needs a better view of the city and a place where I could buy my necessities, not just the pasalubong(s) (this is another story, I’d rather take the traditional route), an SM mall is always a welcome sight!

Baguio Cathedral  -  the exact spot of my last family pic here.

At 6pm after the mass…

(to be continued…)

"Passion, Patience", that’s what I have. I’m not Perfect but at least I know I can Prove my worth now that I’ve been given this Precious opportunity. Whether or not I receive truly heart-warming and flattering expressions of gratitude from my trainees (which I’ve been receiving in overwhelming numbers!), at the end of the day, I know to some it may just be a job, but for me, I can’t help but care.

• (I’m now in Baguio to conduct language training for eTelecare’s applicants. I might extend my stay to a month here depending on the result of the ongoing job fair. I should be ecstatic about this chance. Not only am I staying in Baguio, escaping the summer heat for free, which I’ve been wanting for the longest time, I am as well getting paid and being trusted well enough by my boss to train prospective agents. Plus, Kuya Gil, the driver from Lakbay Travel and Tours, is the coolest! His expertise made me realize that my fear of heights is totally absurd and exaggerated when he expertly maneuvered his way up to Baguio via the Kennon Road and take note: at night! Then again, sigh! Baguio  -  it’s awe-inspiring view, shopping galore and all  -    ain’t fun when you’re alone though. Seeing the Cathedral and the manmade lake at Burnham Park made me miss my parents and Hector. Said tourist spots reminded me of the times I spent there with dad and mom. Somebody tell me how to kill this loneliness! Or maybe I’m just exaggerating again.)

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

he’s an angel, a prince in disguise

when he asked, i never thought twice

to give my heart, it truly was a decision so wise

and now i’m happy and contented,

believing that life is indeed nice (",)