Urong-sulong: Of disclaimers and finally setting myself free
At the risk of receiving the conclusion that, yeah, I possibly am being judgmental, I’d still say "Sayang ka."
Though you don’t owe me anything at all and by receiving things and unsolicited favors from me, you’re really under no liability whatsoever to measure up to me, I’d still say "You’ve disappointed me." (Nah. I won’t go quoting the same old line that respect was all I asked of you.)
My mind screams in torture each time I’d choose to heed the call of "for goodness’ sake" and painstakingly endure a mouthful of bile.
Or is it really "for goodness’ sake"? Isn’t it more appropriately termed as "because I’m in love and all that trash" which is why I’d always, even up to now that I’m already, uh, decided, give endless benefits of the doubt?
Quoting a dear friend, the extreme representation of my brain’s ego and my heart’s pride: "Naririnig mo ba ako?! Malamang hindi."
It’s amusing hearing office colleagues from the Visayas saying "Ambot sa imo." The tone of the sentence in said language seems to be a big cover-up for the frustration and the confusion underneath.
And then here I go again: I won’t let you pull me down. I can’t let you take me down. Even indirectly. Even unconsciously. That’s why I’m setting myself free… Then again, maybe…
**Precious faces the mirror and in extreme frustration shouts at the reflection facing her "Ay ambot sa imo!"
