À vous: A damsel in distress
NOT.
Oh please. I don’t need saving.
Somehow these guys have got to really learn that I’m not naive. Though I usually don’t judge upfront and immediately and though I could give seemingly endless second chances, Jason, my dear friend from Wave’s Hip Circle, indeed, said it right that he should stay out of my way when I’m scorned, whether it’s him at fault or another guy is.
I never knew just how strongly I could avenge my really, really crushed ego and overly betrayed trust until last night. The impact of what I did overwhelmed me to the point that it shocked me. But of course, that would have never occurred without the help of some friends.
Then again, though I know I have the last laugh, I still have my bitter smile to contend with. Who am I trying to kid? Myself?
Law blockie Maan told me through a forwarded quote last night just how "fun" it is to smile and/or laugh even when you’re about to cry, to give a joke even when you’re already about to give in, to be happy even when you know you just can’t take it anymore; that it is the same when you know you’re crushed and yet you’re trying to make yourself believe that you’re okay.
And I emphasize: I’m NOT a damsel in distress. I can very well manage on my own, thank you very much. I don’t want to take pity on myself even when I’m hurt but then again, every time, I can’t help but ask: Just how many times already did I forcibly try to make myself believe I’m okay by distracting myself with work and hiding behind the glamour of it all?
This is my second post for the day and I guess I really just can’t contain this to myself. I am so infuriated by the very fact of how my ex treated me like a damsel in distress and how the others also saw me as one.
It’s a question of esteem, a question of high regard, a question of respect.
"Cinderella", a song with a revival coming from famous Thai-American artist Tata Young, says it all:
Someday I’m gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind
Who’s not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand I’m happy just the way I am, don’t need nobody taking care of me
I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me
When I give myself then it has got to be, AN EQUAL THING
I can slay, my own dragon
I can dream, my own dreams
My knight in shining armour is me
So I’m gonna set me free
