How much of me am I willing to reveal? How much do you want me to?

Never thought this one would apply to me until I got to law school <haahaa>:

I think that I shall never see
A grade as lovely as a three
A three that’s earned with blood and sweat
When failing is a serious threat
A three I’ve asked for God all day
Knowing praying is the only way
Exams are taken by fools like me,
But only God can give a three

When it is truly criminal:

"No ex post facto law or bill of attainder shall be enacted"

(**thanks Doc D for reminding me of crim and three)

It’s official. I’m swooning for the new Superman.

"Yeah, and so are the rest of the girls in the world," said a guy friend.

It just seems like yesterday when I last heard myself smugly saying that Superman is just no more than a representation of the ego of the general population of men which was why I swore not to watch Superman.

Until yesterday. And so it’s official. I’m swooning for the new Superman. Okay, at least for Brandon Routh.

… like a star that seems to be just within my reach.

He’s been like that, yeah, a dream, since college. His profile popping in my monitor just this early morning made me realize that.

I’m full of dreams, what if’s that have yet to be realized.

Never knew this much could happen to me.

Yes I am fixated. Until then, I am fixated. He’s a dream, a star. And I am reality.

For years I’ve struggled in proving to people that I was not the typical only child; that I was independent, smart and definitely not a spoiled brat.

Having officemate Pat asking me yesterday who I was closer to, my mom or my dad, really made me think. Well actually people have been asking me who I was closer to and frankly I don’t want to choose regardless of the fact that it couldn’t be denied that physically, I am indeed my father’s daughter. The subject just touches too much of the issue that I haven’t really maximized the brief time I was able to spend with my mom.

Then again what could I possibly do? Now I only have my dad left and the more he says that he’s there to encourage and help me become independent in order to achieve all my dreams, the more I honestly feel miserable.

And then all I want to do is to just cut him some slack. It still breaks me recalling hear him say that he personally doesn’t want me to leave for another country as there’s only the two of us left. Then again, the next minute, I’d be torn with utter contradiction when, for some spur-of-the-moment whim of mine to instead take my MBA in Australia, I’d hear from him very encouraging words.

This contradiction has been manifested countless times. For the five and a half days I spend at work, I get to only have a few hours spent at home, the most of which I allot to sleeping. He pushed me to this boarding house only, to have him, in the middle of a freak out week, call me with some excuse, however rational, to ask me to go home.

The phrase "quality family time" makes me detest the work load that I currently have knowing that I get to only spend a few hours, not even days, with my dad, when I know I should be maximizing God-knows-how-much-time-I-have-left-with-him-on-this-physical-plane.

Now it’s a Sunday. I woke up before noon feeling miserable knowing that when he abruptly woke me up at dawn, I spent the rest of the time arguing with him over some "blackmailing" issues.

Later I’ll be at SM Sta. Rosa, spending the rest of the afternoon with my bestfriend.

Tomorrow’s a Monday. Work day. Again. And suddenly I feel too afraid of being too independent, without a care in the world, not even enough for my dad who I love the most and the only one I have left.

From Maan: sad but a graceful way of accepting denial and rejection

Excerpts from "A Warm Cup":

I nod. Lookin’ at the way you hesitate to take my hand, resting so near yours, I know you’re already gone. I will make it easy for the both of us. I tell myself: I will forget the feel of your hands on my skin. I will smile and tell you that I’m happy for you because that’s what you want to hear, and that’s what I want to believe. I will not hope you will be back soon nor say that I wish I were goin’ with you. Instead, I will keep in mind that there is nothing between usanymore. It’s just that the coffee is too warm and I’m so cold…

From Maan: very uplifting for a woman’s pride

"No man will ever claim you unless he claims you from Me. For I reserved a man for you who has my heart and loves me even more than he will love you. For I won’t give you unless he asks you from me. He’s asleep, don’t wake him, he’s busy for me, my kingdom. Soon you will know him, but I have the perfect time. You are my princess, my daughter. Let no prince claim you unless he asks you from My hand for I am your Father, the KING of kings. You, my princess, are worth waiting for and I love you."

From Dad

Luv u anak

From Maan: "wahehe" for lawyers and lawyers-to-be

An engineer died. He led a good life, but for some reason he found himself at the gates of HELL. He didn’t complain, rather helped out making all sorts of improvements. Soon, word of all these reached HEAVEN. God was upset and told St. Peter to try to get back the engineer. To no avail, God himself called up Satan and told him he wanted the engineer back. "No, you sent him down here. We’re keepin’ him." God: "You get the engineer up here now, that’s a direct order. If you don’t, I’ll sue you…." Satan laughed: "Where are you goin’ to get a LAWYER? They’re all here!"

From Joni: the "X"

Ano ba ang x? Yun bang pinaiyak ka na, pinatawad mo pa?

Binabalewala ka na, hinahanap mo pa?

Nagmahal na ng iba, minahal mo pa?

O yun yung lintik na variable na hinahanap lagi sa ALGEBRA?!