Feeling the loss…
Countdown to my 22nd birthday: two days, 21 hours, 59 minutes…
Days hence since my dad and I lost mom: 96 days…
On the 19th would be my first birthday that I have to spend without my mom. I guess this year would surely be one with the many firsts… It surely is a diff one especially if it’s your first time to lose somebody significant in your life.
The past two days I’ve been asking dad to recall how it was almost 22 years ago when he brought my mom to the hospital originally for the purpose of her seventh month of check-up. I have also been cheerfully chiding my dad and kidding him that mom sure must had been constantly mad at him during her craving days as many people who see the two of us together often always testify that it couldn’t be denied that I am indeed my dad’s daughter, a father’s girl for whatever it means.
Mom, I miss you. I’m feeling the loss. I’ve been trying to cheer myself up for dad and for the fact that I should move on. I surely couldn’t keep you up there still feeling sad for me when you should be finally enjoying yourself. You know mom, my bestfriend, Valine, and a new friend’s mom both told me that I really didn’t lose you; that I instead gained an angel, another angel apart from the one you were telling me as my guardian angel.
But still I couldn’t help it… I really miss you. It’s hard to know that after I log out and leave the internet cafe, I would be going to an empty, desolate house - without a warm, welcoming smile and a cheerful voice to come home to…
