… so I could move on.

_________

Kita ko sa ‘yong mga mata

Tila may nais sabihin ka

May pagbabago ba ngayon sa puso mo?

‘Wag nang ilihim sa ‘kin ay sabihin mo

Ang minamahal mo ba’y ‘di na ako?

Dati araw-araw laging ako

Ang kausap at tinatawagan mo

Sulat at mga rosas na galing sa ‘yo

Ngayo’y wala na kung naaalala mo

Ako ba’y ‘di na mahal, sabihin mo

‘Di ka ba nanghihinayang?

Kung mawawala na lamang

Ang ating pagmamahalan, bakit nagkaganyan?

‘Di mo lang nalalaman

Na sadyang ikaw lamang

Ang iniibig ko at minamahal

At kahit mayron ka nang iba

Ang pag-ibig ko’y ikaw pa rin sinta

At kahit na nagbago ka na

Ang nadarama’y hindi mag-iiba…

Put away the pictures.
Put away the memories.
I put over and over
Through my tears
I’ve held them till I’m blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that I’d keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more?
How do you leave it in a drawer?

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that’s holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I’m just learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

Try to say it’s over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can’t set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we’ll be friend’s forever more
Wish I could open up that door

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that’s holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I’m just learning,
Learning the art of letting go

Watching us fade
What can I do?
But try to make it through
the pain of one more day
Without you

Where do I start, to live my life alone?
I guess I’m learning, only learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

This is the song that describes you. Yes, I’d like to believe this describes you. How bitter and cruel fate could be. Just when I prayed not to think about it, there’s someone, somehow, somewhere that underwent the same thing that you did.

_________________________

TOO YOUNG

(Jack Wagner)

Hello love it’s been way too long

Since I realized that you’re the most important thing in my life

I’ve gotta the need to tell you I know that I was wrong

Show you how I feel and what’s goin’ on

I don’t know what to say

Except I love that girl so much

But I didn’t show it

Started spreading myself too thin

Fool around thought she didn’t know it

Such childish games I played I fooled her with my touch

Time has taught me so much

I’m grown enough to say

I was too young but that’s no excuse

I had too much too soon I wanted more room

To please my restless youth

Now all this peace

I can’t feel your bliss

You treated me so kind, you were all mine

But I just walk away

That sweet smile and face

Hangs heavy on my mind

Is there a way that you can turn back the hands

The more love that precious time I let slip by

I can’t take much more of this

So I gotta try

To get you back and say

I was too young but that’s no excuse

I had too much too soon I wanted more room

To please my restless youth

Now all this peace

I can’t feel your bliss

You treated me so kind, you were all mine

And I just walk away

True love comes once in a lifetime

And if it’s true then you’ll be back in mine

___________________

Now if only you are, indeed, really feeling the same way. Do I still know you enough to conclude you feel this way? Maybe… maybe not.

Ours was a beautiful memory. You were the best I ever had. But you took everything for granted. Now of course you might not know that I love you enough to let you find your happiness. Yes, I am letting you go. But God I pray that when I see you again someday, I would have only remembered how good we were and the bitterness would have already been washed away by the seemingly endless stream of tears.

Your mom said a lot of untrue, hurtful and insulting things about me for something that I did to you to avenge my dignity as the one person who was faithful to you till the very end but you instead chose to lie to.

For the many times you’ve hurt me before, I didn’t slap you. My parents didn’t say bad things about you. They always made it a point to see both sides. Yes, they taught me well.

I would have accepted and not slapped you had you only answered truthfully my question if there’s another girl when you broke up with me. It doesn’t matter if you have a relationship with her during the time Kuya Jon and I saw you. Holding hands… That’s tantamount to something. I am not stupid. It means the same thing  -  the same painful truth that maybe, just maybe, God willed for me to see.

For the record, I never went to your office to make amends with you or beg for you to take me back. I went there, thinking I was the one at fault; trusting and believing in your words that no girl’s involved. I went there to check up on you as I was worried that you still insisted on going to work even if you were not feeling well.

Thank you for everything. Again, you are a beautiful memory.

But right now, I just don’t want to fight for my for you anymore…

Then again…

___________________

Bakit Ba Iniibig Ka

Erik Santos & Regine Velasquez 

Ang sabi mo sa akin

Tayong dalawa’y magmamahalan lagi

Ang sabi mo sa akin

Tayo’y magtatagal

Tunay ang iyong pagmamahal

Ngunit ang lahat ng iyong pangako

Hindi makatotohanan

Kahit ito’y aking inaasam

Chorus

Bakit ba inibig ka

Ang puso ko nagyo’y nangangamba

Kung ika’y nararapat ko bang tanggapin

Bakit ba hindi ko magawang iwasan ang iyong tingin

Nagyon ang puso mo’y mayroong umaangkin

Dapat bang pigilin ang nadarama

Kahit tayo’y laging nagkikita

Wag na tayong umasa

Sa pag-ibig na ito

Masasaktan lamang tayo

Pagkat ang mga pangarap

Hindi mangyayari

Habang sa ati’y may nagmamay-ari

Repeat chorus

Hindi ko kaya ang mawala ka

Hindi ko kayang mag-isa

Tulungan mo akong malimot ka

Pagkat di na dapat pang ibigin ka

We both promised we’d work things out, we’d make it through, no matter what…

You told me not to let you go…

Where do we go from here? =’(

_____________________________________________

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

Cry……

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on…..

I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

My comfort food, spaghetti. That is, literally speaking in every way.

Boil 1/2 kilo of spaghetti. Add a tablespoon of cooking oil, a pinch of salt and a dash of paper to taste. For the sauce, simmer in a pan any Italian style spaghetti sauce, add a can of tuna in hot and spicy flavor and half cup of grated cheese, empty a small sachet of Ginisa Flavor Mix and voila! An Italian-style Tuna Spaghetti with cheese!

But for now, now that the very words "When it rains, it pours" apply to me, I’d gladly settle with a Filipino-style Spaghetti with banana catsup as sauce.

Then again, will a plate full of spaghetti ever be enough to make me happy? How about the moment I swallow the last spoonful of pasta and eventually find my plate empty? No… The pain my gut feels will go away but the pain that I’ve been keeping and feeling will remain…

When it rains, it pours. I had a fight with a good friend two months ago and it totally severed our ties. My mom died a month ago. And he… he broke up with me just 13 hours ago…