How much of me am I willing to reveal? How much do you want me to?

It’s a vicious cycle, an irrepresible bad habit that has become a neverending dilemma for the Philippines.

I’ve witnessed two "legitimate" People Power Revolutions that ousted presidents-cum-criminals. I was barely two years old in 1986 but I could clearly recall how different I felt that time. My dad carried me on his shoulders and together with my mom, we walked from our house in Boni to where Robinsons Galleria now stands. In the same place in 2001 was where I literally rubbed shoulders with prominent personalities. A sweaty JoeCon was pushing his way towards the stage. But I didn’t care. Erap had resigned. Or so all of us thought. The Supreme Court justices went to EDSA in haste (and later had to justify their actions) to swear in Gloria Arroyo that very day. I felt like I was contributing something to history. I was part of history.

But now the novelty has worn out.

Barely five years after EDSA 2, the people are back in the streets. But not in flyover-dotted EDSA. Ayala Avenue, the prestigious business district in the country where restless investors are huddled, is, as I’m writing this, littered with people from all walks of life  -  actors, communists, politicians, student groups, activists, trade union groups, even those whose locus standi is nothing but a crisp P100 promised if they would just call for Gloria to resign.

I couldn’t care less. I have become indifferent. Maybe it was out of irritation that for this hell of a week alone, I’ve attempted, three times, to redeem myself in my evening law classes in UP Diliman only to find out, after spending P30 and two hours in a bus with dusty airconditioning, that our classes were suspended. Maybe it was out of extreme despair that I’m spending my dad’s hard-earned money to go to Diliman from my boarding house in Buendia only to return like a loser in a battle (I’m not encouraging apathy but look at how much time is wasted by these people who could just be spending their time at work. Nandamay pa sila sa mga gustong magtrabaho na walang magawa dahil they were dismissed early).

I am apathetic, my indifference caused by my disappointment in a country whose president should be upholding the truth and not protecting her vested interests.

I am indifferent, my apathy caused by utter dismay at politicians who should be the very first ones to encourage constitutional means of providing solutions to problems but who are, instead, making a Mt. Everest out of a Mt. Apo thereby causing miscommunication and dissemination of misrepresented details of truth among their manipulated and cajoled constituents.

Still I care.

I care for how this country will be represented on the time that I among those who carves its image  -  whether or not the international community, yes, the global village, will detest it or look up to it.

The latter being obviously what I am in favor of.

I still care because I still believe that someday, I’ll join once again a mass rally with the same feeling I had when I was two and proud.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 13th, 2005 at 6:32 am and is filed under Current Affairs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.